You know when you decide to do something, you put the wheels in motion and get all excited about the next step that you've manufactured for yourself in life's path? You start daydreaming about how good it's going to be, how good you're going to be and how it's going to shape you for years and years to come. And then one niggling doubt creeps in and the dream's over.
You start wondering whether it's going to be as good as you first thought; whether you're going to be as good at it as you thought you might be initially; and above all, you question whether you're ready.
Am I ready to go through the paces of the part of life commonly termed as "growing up and settling down"? Am I ready to have to prove myself in ways other than academic? Am I ready to grow up? Am I mature enough to go through training and then hold down a job? Have I reached the stage where I'm ready to "settle down" should the opportunity arise?
Who knows. All I know is that I'm questioning whether I've manufactured the right next step for myself. This isn't nerves or cold feet.
This is downright fear.
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