Public Privacy

Oh how easily one's welcoming nature can be taken for granted.

"Make yourself at home!" "Of course you can take some fruit for yourself!" It's human nature to want to be accommodating and helpful, isn't it?

It's my human nature, at least. I do all I can to make someone feel at home, offer them food/use of computer/anything else they might need. I even offer the pearls of my wisdom with regards to how to make the little money they have left stretch until pay day, as well as sympathy for the situation. But I get so annoyed when it's thrown back in my face, without the other person realising it.

French TV is hardly exciting - the best thing about it is the weekly episode of Without A Trace screened in original version with French subtitles every Friday night at midnight on France4. So an increased urge to stick in a DVD is expected, unless you're the type of person to get excited by French people acting dumb on Wheel of Fortune or 1 versus 100, for instance. Now it's only natural that I keep my belongings in my room so that a) I know where they are, and b) only I am responsible for them remaining in working order.

In which part of "If you want/need to check your emails and I'm not here, I don't mind if you go into my room quickly and use my computer" did I say "If I'm not here and you're bored, feel free to go rummaging through my stuff to find something to entertain yourself with - be it DVDs, razors, jewellery or whatever"???

So, I'm footing the food bill for two. OK, it's not cheap, but it's a kind thing to do for someone who has "no money to eat". So where on earth does the money for expensive biscuits and even more expensive (and far less value for money) chicken wings come from every other day? Maybe I'm just being over-sensitive, but surely if one is able to spend 5€ on a bag containing 8 minute chicken wings and a box of 12 biscuits with a bit of chocoloate on them, one is sensible to spend those precious 5€ on 3 tins of chopped tomatoes, 2 tins of tuna and a pack of pasta (and still have change), from which one can make at least 3 separate meals?? Obviously they won't be gourmet meals, but all the necessary vitamins and nutrients are in there. Chicken wings and biscuits give you a bit of protein and armloads of fat. How on earth can that be justified?

I saw many a similar situation during my time at uni, people complaining of having no money, yet going out and buying things that they could absolutely live without. When cash flow is low (or at a standstill), you make sacrifices. You go without that bar of chocolate as walk home from town. You buy the economy range at the supermarket, and get double the amount for your money. You do all this so that you are able to survive.

Or at least I thought that was how it all worked. Clearly I am wrong.

Post Scriptum - I'm now buying my own food as and when I need it, and leaving the other person to survive by herself. Unless she decides to let me go hungry by eating the little amount of food I am keeping here. If that does happen, you will be the first to hear about it. And I'll be proved very wrong about my struggling student days being over...