Kapoosh

Addiction is a cruel word. Yet it's a word I appear to be associating myself with more and more as the days go by. My reason for doing so is that something gets taken away from me (albeit temporarily) and I suddenly realise how reliant I am on that thing/person.

Take for instance my friends. I bet you've never heard of anyone being addicted to their friends, but the more I think about it, the more I realise that I rely on my friends in so many ways. I'm so used to my friends being there to help when things get tough, that being restricted to MSN communication is really pushing me towards the door marked "Give Up". Why live hundreds of miles away and be in intermittent contact when I can just go home and be in constant contact? That said, my friends are all MSN buffs, and are generally able to talk sense into me over MSN. But I miss their voices, the subtle sarcastic tones when they're trying to lighten the mood through a bad (but very effective) joke.

And then there's the material things in life, like money and internet access.

Of course, without money one is thrown in at the deep end and in an episode of Survivor before you know it. But when you have money but can't use it to make life easier, that's when your addiction/reliance takes its toll. I, being the 'safe option' person that I am, brought travellers cheques with me, to exchange when I need to. Much more secure than a hump of cash I thought, and much less expensive than using my bank card. But little did I realise that trying to exchange the cheques for cash in a bank, of all places, would be such a dilemma.

So having partly got over the possibility of running out of cash and not being able to eat in a few days time, I decided to make the most of my new found confidence here, and go along to a meet-up of some other language assistants who arrived yesterday and today. Needless to say, that didn't go to plan (if it did, you probably wouldn't be reading this...) and so I headed back to my 'new home', arriving back to find that my WiFi access had cut out. "I'll just reconnect" I thought, but to no avail. Turns out my wireless network card is more than likely knackered. Kapoosh.

Kapoosh, just like my time here so far. Smashing into brick wall after brick wall. I'm so close to giving up, yet keep wondering whether tomorrow will be so much better that I wonder what I got so upset about. I have a feeling this whole voyage of discovery is going to end in kapoosh though.

Kapoosh.